| Thursday, August 18th, 2005 |
| 4:38 pm |
You hate people?
Why is it that to be cool among gothic or punk teens (Yes teens for you see as soon as you turn 20 your brain suddenly tells you that you’re a dumbass) you have to say you hate people? Now this puts a few questions out there…one of the more famous questions is this, If a person who can’t hear says “I hate people” will they still make a noise? They hate people so obviously that means no ones going to be around to hear it. Another question is if you hate people why do you have friends? Or why are you talking to random people, in a friendly manner, about how you hate people? Don’t most people try to avoid things they hate? For instants…I hate ants (they will take over the world) so you will never see me walking up to an ant hill and saying “I hate you.” Then stomping down on it. No, you don’t see me doing that. I avoid the ant hills because I don’t like them. You know I don’t hate people. I don’t even hate the world, I may wear black but that doesn’t mean that I will necessarily agree with you just because you happen to wear the same clothes. Wear whatever you damn well please. Just because you put on an outfit it doesn’t mean that from that point on you have to think in a certain way. Hell I think the world is awesome because it has coffee and nothing that has coffee could be all that bad. Please note…I am mocking stupid kids, I am not mocking the gothic or punk culture. I would say preps but the fact is that most kids who define themselves as such don’t usually say they hate people. Nore am I saying that every kid does this, I’m only referring to the people that do. If you have an issue with this please leave a note with my secretary and I’ll be sure to burn it. |
| Tuesday, August 16th, 2005 |
| 3:46 pm |
Late B-day gift anyone?
Hey my birthday just happened who wants to get me a subscription to the suicide girls website? Huh? huh? |
| Saturday, August 13th, 2005 |
| 7:29 pm |
History Channel sold out?
“It’s probably trying to appeal to younger viewers” Or so says my sister, which is true, but why would programs that are below par appeal to younger viewers? (Assuming that most teens who watch shows like the OC don’t turn to the history channel) When you think of the history channel a picture of old historians comes to your mind. I’m personally fine with that since a majority of them know what the hell they are talking about. Now they added on a show with a young good looking man going around from place to place interviewing historians on whatever subject the show happens to be talking about that day. My only question is…is the show geared to a younger audience therefore not as much information gets crammed into it, or is in fact the pretty boy who is the host of the show really that stupid? No that’s mean…he is a very hansom man and probably has enough knowledge on history that could easily out due a five year old…and I have known a great deal of very smart five year olds. Many of the ones that I know could easily beat me in a spelling contest…wait that’s not saying much at all. Now history channel if you are in fact going to start getting morons to host your shows may I suggest myself? I’m a good looking girl and would more then gladly get paid to get shoved around the world seeing historical places. But I can do you one better then the pretty boy in your show because I would actually enjoy learning more about the subject. (Okay I admit to it…I do watch the OC *looks shamefully down at the ground*) |
| Tuesday, July 26th, 2005 |
| 10:27 pm |
YAY
My birthday is on the 29th of july! Turning 20 oh yeah! |
| Monday, July 25th, 2005 |
| 10:07 pm |
So sad
I'm off to italy...Oh I miss you already |
| Friday, June 24th, 2005 |
| 1:50 am |
Silently Watching
So there I am watching as my friends discover the things I’ve already discovered. I suppose you would call them life lessons. Seeing as they don’t listen just like you didn’t listen. You can’t shield them from being in pain, but you can be there to help it move on. Some people in the world are happy with being happy, and then some people are happier when they are sad. I would have to admit I feel more pleasure being depressed. Or maybe I just always like to feel something. Truly I just want to slap some people in the head and tell them the man isn’t going to break up with her, or he’s not going to change his mind. Basically he’s not leading you on, your leading yourself on. This fairly tail ending your looking for happens not very often in the world. But who could want that anyway? The man slays one witch and he thinks I’m going to sleep with him? Please… Current Mood:  annoyed |
| Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005 |
| 5:21 am |
A little alone
I’m changing around the hours in which I sleep. Right now I go to bed at 6am and wake up around 1pm. Now this didn’t seem like a bad idea when I started to stay up later but the likeliness (is that spelled right?) of me finding something to do between the hours of 2am and 6am is very slight. Remembering a funny conversation that wasn’t with my mom. I don’t know this guy he’s a college student at DVC and I met him setting up for my friend’s birthday party…I wonder how he got into college. Me: How do you want me to put this ribbon up? Him: I don’t know I’m not articulate. Me: (Standing there somewhat stunned) Your not articulate? What does that have to do with putting up ribbons? Him: You know I’m not an artist. Me: Being articulate means you speak clearly. Him: (He wasn’t joking) No, listen to the word articulate. Art… I don’t really remember the rest of the conversation but I was very amused |
| Sunday, June 19th, 2005 |
| 3:58 pm |
What would I do without my mother?
More talks with my mum. Mom: Oh no I think she's in San Francisco today. Me: I want to go to San Francisco soon so I can take photos of my obsession. Mom: And what's your obsession? Me: Black haired boys. Mom: What do you mean? Me: It means... Dad: She means boys with black hair. Mom: Oh I thought it might have been code for something. Me: Yes it's a metaphor for... Dad: Black haired boys. We laugh, Mom looks confused. As we head in to church (Not a normal thing for me to do but today was my Dad's day and he likes church...so I deal with it to go out to breakfast. Only later do I find out I didn't have to go in order to go out to eat...GRRRR) And there was a sign, a BIG sign that read "Vacation Bible School" Anyone else find a problem with this sign? |
| Monday, June 13th, 2005 |
| 9:30 pm |
Break in!
My house was broken into. Luckly not that much stuff was taken. So here for hopefully your laughing pleaser my mom's and my conversation. Me: The only thing of mine missing was my Ipod. Mom: (Yelling) I can't believe this! It's $400! and they took it? Me: Stop yelling at me it's not my fault. Mom: I know it's not your fault, you just don't seem very upset about this. Me: I...well it could have been worse. Mom: Yes, but...I bet it was one of YOUR friends. Me: Oh yes one of my friends made a plan to break into my house spasificly to take my Ipod. Skip to end Mom: God dammit amber. Me: Stop yelling at me I didn't do it! Mom: I know you didn't do it. Me: Then stop yelling at me. Mom: I'm not yelling at you I'm yelling at them it's not my fault their not here to hear it. I crack a smile at this comment and then my mom stood like she was about to laugh...but no she started crying. Poor mom...I;m going to help make her happy. |
| Sunday, June 12th, 2005 |
| 2:23 am |
I can't sleep
Grrr the pain! I wish I had something productive to do. Why do we continue doing things we know are bad. I'm not very sure why I keep letting myself be tempted...yeah I can hold out for awhile, but how much longer? I'm not a plotter so why does it keep seeming like that's what I'm doing. What's harmless? What's harmless in ones mind will probably stay harmless. Could I do this to a friend? Could I have this done to me and feel alright about it? History repeats itself so how can I allow myself to do something I know I wouldn't want? Perhaps were all selfish in that way. Always looking to be filled...is that so bad? Wanting it and letting it happen are two different things...which makes you the bad person? One way your letting someone else try to be filled, in the other you try to fill yourself. What's so wrong with wanting to let yourself be happy? Current Mood:  contemplative |
| Monday, May 30th, 2005 |
| 10:01 pm |
The WWF is like a masculine Ballet
After seeing Mambo Kings Mom:"So how did you like Mambo Kings" ME: Pause "It was...okay." Mom: Starts to get pissed off. "Oh well if you don't like musicals I guess I'll just have to stop taking you then." Me: "I don't dislike musicals I just didn't really like that one. If you don't want to hear my opinion don't ask me for it." Mom: "I didn't ask your opion." Me: "Yes you did." Mom: "No I didn't." Me: "You asked me weatner or not I liked it, what part of that isn't asking for my opinion." She goes quite...later in the bart station. Me: "...And titanic wasn't good." Mom: "Oh Yes I didn't like that either." Me: "Oh you didn't like it? Well I'll just stop allowing you to go to musicals because if you don't like one of them its obvious to me that you don't enjoy any of them." Oh you can bet that more lovely talks with my mother will show up soon. I love my mom. Current Mood:  content |
| Monday, May 23rd, 2005 |
| 9:53 pm |
you know what I want to do
More then anything I want to sit in my bed next to (insert my desired name here) and watch random movies all night. I guess alone will work for now. |
| Sunday, May 22nd, 2005 |
| 2:24 pm |
More for me
Last night was the first time he ever complemented me. How does someone remember something like that? I realize I now have the access to the internet but nothing to do on it. I'm in such a bad mood, but then again maybe not. Current Mood:  gloomy |
| 9:51 am |
I just want something I can never have
I am ignorant...well I'm not sure that ignorant would be a good word for it. For the most part I understand how things work. The problem really comes from the fact that though my mind is awear of whats going on, my heart says other things that do nothing but confuse me. It's not that I wasn't awear of what was expected of me, I knew, I know, but it still feels awful in the end. And if it wasn't for wanting "something I can never have" I don't know if I would have behaved differently. Yes I am still a dreamer never looking for whats attainable. Dreaming about the past, dreaming about what can happen. This is both good and bad consitering I spend a good deal of time thinking. It sounds so stupid but i denied the temptation even though secretly I desired it. The eternal problem with the dreamer there are things you want, and there are things you want more. How long will it be before I forget the way it felt? How long will i be before I forget what it is to feel something about someone else? How long will it be before I realize fully that I simply can't have it? Current Mood: crushed |
| Friday, May 6th, 2005 |
| 2:31 pm |
May 3rd
May 3rd day I have been waiting for since I knew 2 items I despritly wanted were comeing out the same day. As the day got Closer I planned my day around these 2 items. Now my Only problem was I failed to remember that I had rehearsel that night. At 11pm my feelings were Somewhat Damaged when I realised most stores would be closed. Blockbuser was my only hope and I would just have to wait tell 10 to get my other item. Driving around to sevral Blockbusters my hopes for finding the film were Getting Smaller. Finally at 11:35 I found myself at an open Blockbuster. Yes I over paid but I got my film. I knew that if I haddent gotten something that day my whole week would suck. 1/2 of my items now within my possetion I went to bed feeling a little HurtThe next day I awoke and went to class. Afterword I made a Pilgramage to Best Buy. I waited outside at 9:57 for the store to open with 7 hicks. Someone asked Where is Everybody? Which made me smile. Finaly the door opened and I rused in going straight to my section. Please let it be there I thought to myself. Unfortunitly I didn't notace there were 3 sections. The only one I saw had all the Cd's I already owned, plus a CD of a tribute band which was compleate Heresy if you asked me. I walked away sad but soon traviled back. And then I notaice the other sections and the CD. They had it Right Where it Belongs I just didn't see it. Finally at 10:07 I had my CD. This week will be a good week. Current Mood: ecstatic |
| Saturday, February 12th, 2005 |
| 7:05 pm |
"A laundry list of complants"
I'm sorry to quote Mallrats but it is just so damn true. So The Barbie called my mom and gave her a list of complaints about me. Here is the basic list in no particular order. My dad found this as funny as I did. 1) My carpet is mildewing because I left the window open when it rained. Now apparently my eye sight and my sense of smell is gone since there is no mildew in my carpit that I can find. I even looked today to make sure. Hey John did you see any mildew?2) She is blaiming me for the broken dishwasher... because I do my dishes. I don't even know what to say to that. 3) She is claiming that two of the people in my house moved out because of me. Her son moved out... now the same time her son moved out Jennifer was moveing back in and takeing over his room. Oh but it must have been me who did it. The girl I got along with moved out so she could get a place with her brother. Oh I must have done something bad to her since she had been looking for a place with her brother for while. She must have senced that I would be comeing. Why didn't Jen kick me out if these claims are true? 4) Back when I first moved in her son would always walk around the house shirtless, so I said to him "Why don't you wear shirts?" I forget what he said but then I replied "Well how would you like it if I walked around the house shirtless." An obvious joke to anyone with a brain but it apparently offended him. If he is so damn sensitive about his body why does he walk around without shirts on? 5) This is by far the most amusing one. Now I am very sensitive about my spelling because I suck at it. So when I write notes I use small words and go over it several times. One day I wrote a note to Matt, which Ashley went over, saying "Please fix my computer, I'm not trying to be pushy" Well somehow he managed to read it as "Please fix my computer, I'm not trying to be Pussy." 6) The non-dents on the garage door. 7)The mustered stain she told me not to worry about, and that she would clean up the next day. |
| Wednesday, February 9th, 2005 |
| 10:07 am |
The mind has far to much power
Another V-Day alone. Who is up for a nice singles get together? We can have like shirts and wear them to rocky. Or Rehearsal...or school...depending which group of my friends you are in. COME ON SINGLES UNITE IN A WONDERFUL GATHERING OF LONELINESS! Think of it this way couples are for the most part two people..and two rhymes with poo. I really want to go out dancing anyone want to join? Or at least know of a place? Current Mood:  crazy |
| Friday, February 4th, 2005 |
| 10:09 am |
Unneeded fear and an long awaited entrance back into society.
I've been questioned about my come back to doing dishes. Well I have a big fear...A huge FEAR! A big HUGE FEAR of ants. I hate them...they travel in large packs and can get into anywhere. ANYWHERE! You kill off a group and more come back. So in order to avoid run ins...I must give into the dishes. I'm ready and I have nothing to lose...to quote a wonderful song by a beautiful woman "What you waiting for?" Crap I have to go to my dance class soon, with my awful dance teacher. Lets just say the only thing I will learn from that class this year is how to walk back and forth not to the beat of the music. FAREWELL MY LOVES! HEY Nic are you reading this? ARE YOU? ARE YOU? Current Mood: flirty |
| Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005 |
| 12:20 pm |
OJ in the morning and sore body at night
I'm getting very sick of no longer haveing the internet at my home. Right now i'm at the bagel club useing theirs. woot* I am also getting sick of liveing with people I don't like. The Barbie's annoying me and the homophobic computer mans annoying me. The house mate that sits and coulfs in his room all day annoys me. I want to move out and live with friends. Perhaps thats something I should start looking into. Needless to say I got another note this time from the homophobic computer guy. It told me that I could use his "Lean mean grilling machine" if I wished to do so...just to clean it up afterward. I'M A VEGETARIAN! I don't use his damn machine because its for meat and lets face it tofu is lean enough. The thing that pisses me off about this is I was automatically blamed for leaving a mess...when it is I who dose the dishes. I need house mates I like. On the up side Curt made me good soup. Current Mood: lonely |
| Saturday, January 22nd, 2005 |
| 9:21 am |
Sleep oh wonderful sleep
I am staying at my moms house last night because I was way to tired to drive back home. I sat down trying to keep my eyes open so I could watch a movie but then snap! My eyes shut and bam I was asleep no Harry Potter required. But at 3:23am my sister came into the study. Erin: WAKE UP EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP AMBER! Me: What do you want? Erin: WAKE UP!!!!!!!!! The only good thing about this situation was I woke up about 30 seconds before she came in and yelled at me. Oh there would have been a crazy fight if she was the one who woke me up. I'm so cranky when people wake me up. Current Mood:  sleepyCurrent Music: very VERY SleePY |
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